Friday, February 23, 2007

Puffy Eyes

Woke up puffy today, cried a lot last night. I have been so stressed out becuase of this stupid exam. It wasn't like this last time - last time I had people around me going through the stress with me. Other people's stress shouldn't make me feel better, but I didn't feel so alone. N and I got into a fight last night - we've been quibbling more lately because of all the stress that I am under. This is so much harder than last time, and I finally boiled over because of it. Even missed the last 15 minutes of Grey's Anatomy because I was such a mess. Ugh, I see the light but it's not bright enough.

Stayed home today - didn't feel like facing the library again. Probably going to be the last time I go to the library in a while. 3 more days of studying, then I drive to Norfolk. Please G-d, I hope I don't have to do this again. Hopefully this will be the last time.

Last night I had a dream that N was going to propose with a ring. He was wearing the ring around his neck on a necklace- like Carrie in Sex and the City after Aiden proposes. And I saw the ring around his neck but was mad at myself cause I wanted it to be a surprise. And we were running errands while he was wearing this ring around his neck. In fact this really did happen - when N gave me the hamsa that I wear around my neck. He wore it first so it would be like he was giving me something of his. I remember seeing it when we were kissing.

Okay, gotta pull through this. I can't wait to do the things I love when this is over. I want to explore more with my sewing machine, set up the office with all my crafts, make my cards, paint, knit, work on our garden. We've both been in such yucky moods. And I can't keep saying, I'll start my like after I finish X, Y and Z. This is my life dangit! I'm gonna take a bunch of stuff to play with when I go back to mom's house. Definitely some knitting and maybe some sewing stuff. Mom used to sew so much when she was younger. hasn't touched a sewing machine since I've been around, but I bet she will love to play with it.

Oh, and gotta finish shopping for my Secret Swap Pal. Can't wait to hit some of the thrift stores up in Maryland. Also maybe stop by Old Ellicott City - their is so much shopping to do there. I promise, the rantings and ramblings will stop soon.

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