Be Still, and Know that I am G-d.

-Said by my future father-in-law, when attempting to offer suggestions on what kind of cheese we'd like to purchase.

Sleepy now. It's been a long couple of weeks. N's been working so hard, every night, and I miss doing things with him. But this has given me a taste of the summer, when he'll be gone for weeks in Italy, and Steve and I will keep one another company.

MMG may come this weekend to visit. We have a bunch of errands to do before the end of the year, but I am looking forward to her seeing my home for the first time. That means lots of cleaning in anticipation. Just like she does for me when I come to her home. It's not really my home, just the house she lives in. But where she is, that is home. It's the place I go back to, to remember where I came from, and what I could leave behind. Stupid sounding, but the truth.

Steve rolled in some sort of animal poop tonight, so I had to give her a whore's bath (that's what MMG calls it, a sponge bath of sorts). She smelled pretty bad. Now she smells like dog shampoo. Gotta love masking the smell. She needs a real bath. A pimp's bath. I've already begun a list in my head of tasks for N to work on when he's all done with the semester. That's on it, at the top of the list.

As usual, I'm on a clutter-busting binge. Trying to get clutter out of this house, even though I manage to bring s**t in. But my friend OW reminded me that making a home is about evolving. Constantly moving things around, and swapping things here for this, and there for that. So, I'm embracing that, while still trying to move stuff out. Freecycle works. Craigslist hasn't been too good for me, though I take pics. I'll keep trying.

Off to snooze. So I don't lose. I need a drink!

Register

I thought I'd love registering for our wedding, but I was wrong. I don't. I don't know what I like, or what I'd like to have, and I don't like telling people that this is what I want, so buy it for me. And my eyes hurt from looking at the computer for so long, searching for things to register for. So, I'm this close to just boycotting the whole thing.

The Daily Coyote

I can't help myself. I've looked at these pictures multiple times. They are just so damn cute.

My favorite pics from N'awlins

Saturday after our arrival at the first Halloween celebration, with Tulane alums.

Love it!

Twister girl, Sexy devil and Dick in a Box

More to come....

1. NOLA was awesome. Pics will be posted as evidence of such awesomeness. However, I did come home with a strange rash all over my body. I asked SPR if she had the same rash and at first she didn't, but now she does. WTF?? I went to the doctor yesterday cause this mysterious rash has spread to my face - I know, I know, it's gross. The doctor said it was caused by something I came into contact with. Eww! Anyhow, I was directed to take Benadryl and hope that it goes away soon.

2. I worked on a home damaged by Hurricane Katrina through Rebuilding Together. I worked with ElderHostel, a group of fun-loving, energetic retirees who travel around the country volunteering for a week at a time. It was definitely the most rewarding. I got to paint the outside of a home that had a lot of wind damage...the roof was torn off. I wish I could've volunteered more.

3. We're having an engagement party - woohoo!! It's December 29 at 6 pm at the Bolton household. And because of all this excitement going around, I started a wedding blog. I know, too much, I'm a huge dork who thinks that people are more interested in our life than they really are, but I don't care. I like it.

4. Steve is a bumpkin.

5. Read this. It's damn good. I can't put it down.

1. Work has been crazy busy. I am leaving for New Orleans in one week from Friday and have to finish a Petition for Appeal, Answer/Grounds of Defense for a Complaint (real estate), and a bunch of other filings before I leave. I am looking forward to my trip because I know that I will have completed all that needs to be complete by the time I am on that airplane.

2. Yard sales were sparse this past weekend. I got some enamel small bowls, a retro gravy dish, two cloth napkins, and a few other items that escape my mind. I was so desperate for yard sales I even hit up Circa which I have been avoiding since their prices make me depressed. They have the best items galore but I can't bear to pay the prices knowing that I could find the same things that much cheaper at thrift stores and yard sales.

3. I picked out my costume for Halloween. Check it out here. Now I just have to work on getting the boots. May not be able to get red boots, but I'd settle for white.

4. I still want to sign up for a day's worth of service work in NOLA. I have a few leads but nothing set in stone.

5. Oh, I can't believe I haven't mentioned it, but we picked our date and location for the wedding. We are getting married on December 21, 2008 at The Brewer's Art. We visited two weeks ago when we went up to B'more for DK and M's wedding. It's all that I imagined and more. Never thought about a winter wedding, but I think it's only appropriate to get married at this brewery in the winter. The fireplaces will be roaring, everyone will be drinking...I'm stoked.

6. BTW, I'm going here next year. Who's coming?

I saved another 18 dollars. Last night, I watched the terrible but oh so good chick flick, The Prince and Me, you know the one with Julia Stiles and she falls in love with the Prince of Denmark, and I hemmed up another pair of jeans. I'm telling you, maybe I should start soliciting my services and make some money on the side. Whataya think?

How to Avoid Paying 18 Dollars

Last week, I went to the tailor to get 4 pairs of pants hemmed. Getting pants hemmed is part of my life, something I rarely am able to avoid, being vertically challenged and all. Two pairs were jeans (one pair I bought at a yard sale) and two pairs were pants for work. After I tried them on for the tailor, and she pinned the pants where needed, I braced myself for the total. When I saw her writing down the amounts on the ticket, I couldn't believe it. I asked "It's 14 dollars to hem a pair of jeans?" She said, "Oh no, to hem a pair of jeans it's 18 dollars. 14 dollars is for the other pants." I can't believe I left the store without the pants, but I did. However, the very next day, as soon as the store opened, I retrieved my pants and vowed to do this myself. When hemming jeans, it's very difficult to use a standard sewing machine because most can't handle the girth of the materials. And as for dress pants, they need to be done by hand so as not to see the stitches through the material. So, I went to the local fabric store, and bought some jean thread and needles, a total of $3.30, and faced the challenge. Let me just tell you how good it feels to not spend $18 on hemming a pair of jeans, especially when you bought them for a dollar at a yard sale. It feels damn good. And they turned out really good, if I do say so myself. You can't tell that the hem is done by hand. As for pics, if I had any, that would just be too over-achiever-like of me.

I've been looking for a way to organize my circular knitting needles, so they're easily accessible. When I come across a pattern requiring a circular needle, I turn the page, unwilling to search through the tangled mess. I once came across a pattern for a sewn circular needle organizer, but I didn't have access to a sewing machine...until now. I went searching for that needle organizer to sew up a few nights ago. Instead, I came across this. Crazy thing is that I just picked up empty wooden spools a few weekends ago at a yard sale in hopes of coming up with some crafty project. It was fate! Here's an action shot, with all the circulars.
And here's a close-up.

I didn't have enough spools to add decorative spools on either end, but I think it turned out okay.

N went downstairs to the basement to throw in a load of laundry and discovered sewage in the basement. Our sewage pipe(s) is (are) backed up. I have no idea if there is more that one sewage pipe, but I do know that the huge tree in our front yard has invaded our sewage system and now we got some s**t in the basement. Literally, s**t. Stay tuned. It will be an interesting week.

When I first arrived in Virginia, I continually referred to the prosecutor as the State's Attorney. But I was very quickly corrected. They are not State Attorneys. They are Commonwealth Attorneys. Yes, I live in the Commonwealth of Virginia, not the State of Virginia. You wanna know the difference? I bet you do. Well, there is no damn difference. Virginia decided to remain a Commonwealth. I bet it's because it sounds more prestigious, like "Yes all of you other feeble minded states, you could never compete with a Commonwealth like us...haa haa haa."

Look What I Did!

Two weekends ago, N and I went to a Y'art sale. Kinda like a yard sale, but it was for art supplies and art pieces. I went nuts, buying 6 grab bags of fabric and wood block paint while N picked up an old-school hand crank pencil sharpener, wooden wall art and drafting pens. With this fabric, I made my first pillow cover. Whadya think?

It was very easy and for the next one I make, I'm hoping to write a tutorial to pass along to anyone who needs some guidance. As you can tell from this pic, the cover is a tad bit bigger than I'd like. I've been on the lookout for a snap or eye hook to use in the back to tighten it up. Otherwise, I'm very happy with the way it turned out.

I didn't think I was much of a fantasy genre reader, but it just so happens that I'm more than half-way through the first Harry Potter book. Not too bad if I do say so! I don't foresee myself become ridiculously addicted to the Harry Potter series, but I'm not making any bets, and you shouldn't either. You never know. I come from a family of addicts.

Today was the second time I cried at work. First time was when I found out MMG had cancer. But today, I cried. Because of the nature of my work, I can't get into specifics (sounds like I work for the CIA...don't get excited, I don't) but let's just say I got emotionally invested in a case, and my client was found guilty. I held it in until for about an hour and then I cried. I'm questioning whether I'm cut out for this. Real estate is much more safe. Even estate planning. Dead people don't come back and yell at you for giving their son and not their daughter some ugly painting. But criminal law - damn, especially when you're client is innocent. That's when it gets tough. It's easier if you have guilty clients, cause you work your hardest to make sure the system doesn't screw them. But when they're innocent...I need to make sure I don't get emotionally invested, and attached, and all that bullshit. I'm looking forward to the day when I have 10 years of experience behind me. That'll be the day when I won't come back from court and feel like crumbling into a puddle of tears.

Do you have a secret?

I miss Steve.

Presents from my garden

Beautiful presents if I do say so myself! We have zucchini coming out of our ears, so guess what we made on Saturday? Yup, zucchini bread. It's really good, if I do say so myself. We have brandywine tomatoes, cherry tomatoes, and other heirloom tomatoes growing; however, only the cherry tomatoes are ready. The others are still on the vine. We've been quite fortunate with our garden. The only struggling veggie has been the squash, and frankly, if that's the only failing veggie, I'm a happy camper.

Why Blog?

A friend asked me why I blog? And as I was formulating my answer - as it was spewing forth from my mouth - I am still pondering this question. With Facebook, Myspace, Friendster and more (all of which I have page), I started considering that maybe this means of communicating is selfish and narcissistic. Really, why do I write online for others to read? Maybe it's insecurity, and I hope people find me interesting. But then, do I really care what people think? I try to convince myself that I don't care what other people think, but secretly I guess I do. So, in addition to wanting people to find me interesting, why do I blog? Here are some of the excuses...


1) I like to keep a diary and I type faster than I write.

2) I share my projects with others, since I often like reading about other people's projects.

3) I think of witty things in my head (at least, I think they're witty) and I hope other people find them just as witty.

4) Thoughts in my head should not stay in my head, and here is just as good of any place to dispose of them.

5) I like to have something that's just mine, and no one else's.

6) This is a great starting point for interesting discussion with friends far away.

7) Blogging encourages me to become a better writer.

8) Blogging keeps my far-away friends informed about my life.

I could go on, but those are just a list of reasons (excuses) without thinking too hard.

And for a cute picture of Steve. And yes, that is her in the bathtub.

Okay, one more...Sorry it's so dark. I'm not at all technimologially savvy with the photo stuff. But if you look really close, you see a sweet face.

I try to stay away from political comments on this blog, mostly because I have no idea what I'm talking about. Truly, I read the news like any educated citizen and I am more than interested in the upcoming primary. But there's so much out there, and how do you know what's the truth and what is the media playing tricks on you in order to increase the amount of viewers? Regardless, and I know this is bottom of a large heap of issues going on, but what ever happened to believing you are the best one for President? It's lately become a war of words and who will win, not who is the best one to lead our country. Am I the only one who sees this? Maybe I'm not looking past the words.

Don't speed when driving. You could go to jail. Seriously. Oh, and don't do speed when driving, either. You really could go to jail.

Five things I say I will do, but don’t, and then hate myself for not doing

I often am inspired to post an entry when I see a blogger's list and then want to make the same list. A friend from high school posted such a list and now I am using the premise to create my own.

And therefore, here is the list:

1) Put more thought into giving creative gifts

2) Have a yard sale

3) Help N around the house more

4) Don't watch TV

5) Exercise More

And of course this list could go on. Pathetic really. We are too hard on ourselves. We (meaning me) feel we are never good enough. I want to stop feeling bad for what I don't do, and recognize what I do do...doo doo.

Monday Musings

1) Late yesterday afternoon, N and I began the daunting task of organizing the basement. I use the basement as a storage unit for items that I hope to sell at the never-happening yard sale. Also, since MMG moved, I have had to bring a lot of my childhood belongings to Charlottesville as there is no place in MMG's home. We have four categories - yard sale, one for keep, trash and school. I was going through my second box (only my second), when N warned me that he remembered a plate may be broken in the box. I came across the plate, and N and I picked it up. Either we each thought the other had it stable in our hands, or the plate was a magical jumping plate, but either way, the plate cut my leg open, and here I sit with four stitches in my calf. I know, only four, but I've only had stitches one other time in my lifetime, and I don't really remember it that well. All I know is that my mom had to lie about our last name cause the KKK lived by. She was afraid they would turn us away.

2) The doctor at Urgent Care was an asshole. As he was preparing the materials for the serious surgery, N asked whether the office stitched up a lot of people, and he responded "Yeah, too many. We don't have time for this crap." The doctor said that right there, with blood gushing out of my calf, and he doesn't have time for this crap. Believe you me, if I didn't need them I wouldn't have been there. You think I want to be getting stitches at 9 in the evening? I'd rather be organizing my basement, thankyouverymuch. And you know, stitches are not for preventing scars. They are for preventing infection you bozo! I don't give a shit if I have a scar on my calf.

3) Allgood festival two weekends ago was awesome. We took it easy Friday night, but danced our tushis off Saturday night. Moe, STS9, Bob Weir and Rat Dog, Keller Williams, Benevento Russo Duo, Lotus, Grace Potter - the list could go on. I saw a lot of potential clients at the festival too.

4) No more musings. Maybe more later.

No shit sherlock!

N finally came to the realization that we are getting married...preferably in the next year and a half. But that's how N is. I'll go on and on about something that needs to get done, or that is coming up, and he needs a certain amount of time for it to sink in. And then I walk in the door after a long day at work and he says "You know what, if we're getting married, we need to get on it." Oh, really? I didn't know that.

Good thing I'm aware of his needs.

So, we're thinking of going more traditional. And while I've always imagined, from the day I started planning my wedding when I was in the womb, of having bridesmaids, good friends standing by my side as I vow to love my husband forever, I think we might forgo that for our wedding. We are planning a more traditional Jewish wedding, and in a traditional Jewish wedding, there is no bridal party. Just the bride and groom. Not sure how I feel about this. Maybe we'll ask some friends to read something, or hold up the chuppah. Haven't figured this out yet.

Of course, I've been considering what I'm going to do about who will walk me down the aisle. Usually, it's both parents. But I'd like to have my mom and someone else by my side, to honor my father, so it will most likely be my cousin. He loved my father, he understood my father and he respected my father immensely. I mentioned it to him a few years ago at our cousin's wedding. Now I've got to dig up the courage to remind him of my request so long ago.

We haven't even decided where we are going to have it. We're contemplating between Charlottesville, NOVA and Baltimore. But one thing is for sure...it's not going to be a typical wedding. I just want a big party, commencing with the wedding ceremony. I am not sure I want a sit down dinner. I kinda just want a backyard party, with lots of drinks and music and some food so people don't get filthy drunk. But filthy drunk is also fine. Whatever works.

And again, she peed twice. WTF? Seriously, I don't know what's wrong with her. She has peed on the rug two out of three trips to the in-laws, and the main factor that wasn't present when she didn't pee was the presence of 2 cats, Bob and Bug. Are they making her pee? Are they stressing Steve out so much that she has to pee in front of them to remind them who's boss? Is she peeing multiple times because she smells where she previously peed? Does anyone out there in cyberspace have any theories as to why my princess doggie is peeing in the in-laws home?

Steve just peed on the in-laws year-old carpet. Good times.

Hodgepodge of Ideas

Last week, we spent some time playing Bananagrams and now I'm addicted. Seriously, very cool game. Not hard at all, and you could probably just create the game if you already have Scrabble.

Also last week, with Bird staying at our home, I found myself not watching any TV at all. And it was nice. Lately, I've been in the rut of coming home, plopping my ass down on the sofa, and watching hours of mindless television. But, having been unintentionally deprived of it for almost a week, it's quite refreshing. I actually did things that needed to get done and that I wanted to do...like sew up a skirt, clean up my craft room, and sew on a button missing from a purse purchased at a yard sale. I know I know, this all seems so trite and simple, but whatever, it was a refreshing moment for me, so there.

I just finished The Knitting Circle by Ann Hood. Surprisingly, I picked this up at a yard sale (ha ha). A quick read certainly - but I wouldn't say it's contemporary literature at it's best. I like how it reminded me of why I knit, and keep knitting. The act and art of knitting does soothe my mind, and any stress or anxiety I may be feeling dissipates. Knitting is rhythmic craft.

Tonight, N and I are going to get a drink on the downtown mall, something rare for us during the week. I tend to run home and stay around the house. But this will be a nice deviation from the expected schedule of the week.

Quick thoughts

Websites I may spend more time reading:
Lifehack
zen habits

I wish there was one of these in Charlottesville

I can't believe I will be in Baltimore but be missing this.

Projects in the works:
- Compost Pile
- Another garden bed
- Painting the ceiling of our screened-in porch
- New patio
- Yard sale at the beginning of July

I'm sure I'll have more thoughts later in the day...at least I hope so.

What 5 seemingly insignificant little things made you happy today?

1) Going to court without another partner from the firm in the stands
2) The cool breeze outside - so different from the past few days
3) Sleeping in past 6:45am
4) Spying on Steve as she watched the birds from our screened in porch
5) N picking up my shoes from the gym (I accidentally left them there) on his own whim, simply because he's that kind of man

We have a wonderful house guest this week, BC. We met through her boyfriend, who went to high school with J and N. But the crazy thing is that she went to writing camp with J, way before she was dating the bf. She and I do not know each other that well - we've met only a handful of times (two to be exact) but she is someone that I would like to get to know better, since I am always on the lookout for more peeps to hang with here in Cville. BC went to school here and has all sorts of crazy fun jobs. She makes organic soaps and such, which she sells on her own. She writes about food for the Cville, she has a killer ebay business selling great finds at yard sales and thrift stores. Seriously, I'm liking that kinda lifestyle a lot more than my current position.

We are getting ready to go up to MD to continue the moving extravaganza. I can't wait for this to be over. Still trying to hunt down boxes and need to collect newspaper to wrap some valuables in. But N's mom, J and Nat are coming over this weekend to help, which will be an incredible relief. The whole process is much more enjoyable when you have many warm bodies.

The garden is growing by leaps and bounds. Our zuchs are going nuts while our tomatos keep us on our toes. We can't wait for them to get here. We have a few babies, getting us excited and all.

I will hopefully post some pics of the garden soon. And for those who have read all the way here, I apologize for lack of exciting news. BC's arrival is the most excitement we've seen in these here parts of town.

This weekend N and I are helping MMG pack up her house. Seriously, not fun stuff at all, but I am looking forward to helping her getting rid of a lot of shit. She's been carting around this stuff for 8 years and now we are going on the 5th move. I don't know where I get this compulsion to get rid of things - but I have this great burning need to pair down, simplify, declutter. And it's not just throwing stuff away. I like to do it in a very systematic way. For example, I have a ton of stuff in my basement right now that I have been putting away for a yard sale. But, I also have some of these items posted on craigslist, some on freecycle, some separated to be brought to a consignment shop. Of course, this is like a whole other job so I do a little bit each week.

This weekend, we are separating mom's stuff into a five categories:

1) Items that she will keep for the new place
2) Items that are not valuable and can be sold at a yard sale to be held in two weekends
3) Items that are valuable to be sold to an auctioneer
4) Items that MMG doesn't want but N and I want to keep
5) Items to be donated to charity
6) Items that MMG does want but can't bring to her new place cause she doesn't have any room (my plan is to keep this pile as small as possible cause our basement is filled with our own crap)

So that's the deal. If you are reading this (all 2 of you) and you want to come help, please don't feel like you can't join in the fun. Cause you CAN!!

Now, for some pics from the wedding:

Brother and sister!!


Feeling good.

Loving the mohawk.

Our unofficial engagement photo.

J bitch slapping his future wife.

Seriously, my favorite at the moment

The wedding weekend was beautiful. Seriously, good times with family and friends. Of course, Nat looked gorgeous, and J was full of humor and wit. I will be sure to get pics up soon. The evening before the wedding, J and V had a big party at their house for all out of town guests, but seriously, about 70 percent of those invited to the wedding showed up. And that's when it hit me - this is exactly what I want for our wedding. I just am not in the position to spend thousands upon thousands of dollars for a wedding, especially since I do not come from a family who has the funds at its disposal. But please don't get me wrong - Nat and J's wedding was absolutely gorgeous. It truly was. Especially the ceremony. When the bride circled the groom with the music in the background, it was beautiful. And the Klezmer band freaking rocked. So I know that I want a traditional Jewish ceremony and I'd love some music. But I just want everything at a house or at a restaurant. This way, N and I won't start our marriage off in debt. I also plan on doing a lot myself - like invitations, and party favors, and I probably won't buy any flowers - maybe just a bouquet - and my dress will be quite simple. Nat has already offered me the use of her veil and maybe even her dress. People, her dress was gorgeous, just so beautiful. If only...

MMG and I had a falling out on Monday, but then we fell back in yesterday. Things to do with finances and mortgages and attention towards one another and such. Being the only child of a widowed parent is not easy, especially of a parent who is still grieving the death of her husband 8 years later. She accused me of not paying enough attention to her - that she felt like she didn't have a daughter. I do the best that I can, but I don't think my best is good enough for her. Do I sound like a candidate for therapy or what?

She is in process of moving to a smaller place, and so we will be going through the painful process of letting go - letting go of physical items that she acquired when my father was alive, letting go of clothing that she's had since before I was born...she's moved quite a number of times in the past eight years and every time, we do get rid of stuff. But this time, she will be getting rid of a lot, whether she likes it or not. Cause you know who has to move it all? Yup, you guessed it. ME!

And to finish off this picture-lacking post, Steve did the cutest thing today. On any other day, it wouldn't have been cute. But since N didn't have any plans, and I was up earlier than expected, it was okay just this one time, that she rolled around in the leaves on the outskirts of the backyard, and came trotting back to the door smelling of horse poop. Seriously, she smelled rank - but at least she looked cute rolling around outside. Then the outdoor bath began and relished it for a while, so long as no water touched her face. Now she looks like a big poofy polar bear. Sweet Shenandoah Steve!

So all that stuff I wrote a few days ago, about engagement and such? Well, it's moot now cause N proposed!! and I said YES (obviously). Very sweet, lots of tears, it couldn't get much better.

Getting ready to leave for a while for the wedding. Good times, I'm sure. We've been packing and getting the house ready for JC while she watches our home and dog and garden.

Last night we were attacked by one ass mother fucking huge bee/wasp/hornet/whatever flying insect in our kitchen. N went nuts and cleaned the entire kitchen with bleach and words such as "FUCK" and "SHIT." Seriously, every time he found a few drops of the Raid Spray, he yelled like the world was going to explode in one millisecond. Then when I addressed this instance of rage, he's like "What? What's the matter?" I think he was mostly upset that the Raid smelled like roses.

Anyhow, I'll be gone from Charlottesville for a few days. While I am excited for the weekend, seeing N's family and friends, I am also a homebody and love to stay home and do stuff around the house and spend time with projects just for me. I often feel I don't get the time to do that. I also have this thing about waking up in my own bed. I spent the last 3 years living out of a suitcase, since almost every weekend I was travelling. And though the whole point of moving down here was to cut the travelling out of my life, we travel almost as much, with seeing my MMG and N's parents.

Oh, and if MMG brings up anything resembling the word "Ring" I will seriously go ape-shit. And the great thing is that I told her that. Seriously people. If one more person asks me - and I know I'll be inundated with that question this weekend - I might burst into tears. Cause I really don't have control over it. And I am happy and that's all that matters. N and I love each other, we are going to get married, and having a piece of jewelry to signify it is not my purpose in life. I am tired of living with the mentality "My life will begin as soon as I pass the bar, as soon as I move to Charlottesville, as soon as I get married..." This is my life dammit and I am happy just as it is. It doesn't need to be rushed.

On another note, I am almost finished this project at work that I've been dreading for weeks. Once in a while, I get a project that I just loathe, mostly because I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. This involved someone's estate and the accounting for it, and I don't really know what I'm doing, especially since I didn't start at the beginning. I just came in and picked up where the other attorney left off, which is harder than starting in the beginning. Anyhow, as I leave for the wedding, it feels great knowing that this will be in someone else's hands. I am so glad it's done. I've been avoiding it as much as possible, but finally, I just sat down, worked my brain hard, and figured it out the best I could.

Okay, that little diatribe about work wasn't that interesting so I'm gonna stop now.

At the local recycling center, there is a trailer where people drop off books so others can pick them up. There are always old encyclopedias and books with old pics, so I grabbed these to use for my card making adventures.

Just some flowers we got to brighten up the place.

It's a sickness, I know, but I just can't get enough of her.

I've crossed a line and want to go back, but am afraid it's too late. I'm becoming one of those annoying pet owners who talks about her dog constantly..constantly people. It's a real addiction and I'm trying to stop but I'm afraid I can't. I truly believe she's the meaning of adorableness. Anyhow, photos of Steve are posted on my Flickr account...Here's a teaser.

In other news, J and Nat are getting married in less than 2 weeks, and though we won't be officially sisters until N and I get 'er done, we are that much closer. I have three half-sisters who are much older than me, and I grew up with three other kids (story for another time), but besides all the adopted and half and step siblings, I am an only child. And if I don't act like an only child, then I certainly acted like the baby of the family when growing up, cause let's face it, I was a baby. I am the youngest cousin, the youngest child, and was always the youngest student in class (don't get any ideas of being in the presence of a genius - I skipped a year of pre-school).

J and N are very close, so I feel lucky that me and Nat have gotten to know each other so well over the past two years. We talk about all sorts of things, especially how much Bolton men love to fart. Now that she and J are going to be in Philly, we'll get to see them that much more. Nat and I are already planning our first pregnancy - can you imagine, calling each other up and asking - You got him in place? You ready? Let's go! Seriously people, we are going to drive the Bolton men NUTS. Heck, we already do. When the house gets filled with people, or we just need some peace and quiet, we can always count on each other to crawl into bed and watch MTV or read Popsugar or paint toenails. Seriously, I love it - someone with whom I will grow old, experience marriage and motherhood, mid-life crises, it's gonna rock. Sounds like a husband but it's different. N won't understand when I start getting hemorrhoids from being pregnant, or needing to go out clubbing dressed like a hooker when I'm 45. Now we just need to make sure that we stay close enough that a 4 hour car drive will do the trick.

Steve after a long weekend

Steve after a long weekend, originally uploaded by elenafreed.

Baby Steve needs much rest tonight after a fun filled weekend of tearing down doors and eating all the deli meat from the counter. But seriously, how can you resist that adorable face even if you have to buy a brand new door?

Now that N is finished his first year of graduate school, he can play around the house more - doing fun projects like planting veggies in the garden, and putting up shelves in the crafty room, where all things crafty are born. He helped me sew a duvet cover for our bed on Sunday night, and it turned out better than I thought. Very beautiful fabric on the top and we found a king-size bed sheet at Marshalls for 10 bucks to use for the bottom. The first night I slept under it, I didn't move a muscle the entire night. Granted, that probably had more to do with the fact that I was still recovering from the birthday shindig we hosted for N and Maressa. It was their 50th birthday this year on Sunday. Happy Birthday!

We spent N's birthday on Sunday not only making the duvet and planting, but also playing with Baby Steve, making yogurt and dining at the very elegant Blue Grass Grill. N got corned beef hash and I had some choco chip panks with a side of bacon and a biscuit. Talk about yummy. It's all about the panks.

Yesterday I took a watercolor class from N (after I burst into tears that he didn't have a good assignment for me and that he likes his other students better than me, and why didn't I get any perks cause I'm sleeping with the professor - but anyway), and I did this thing where I tried to match 5 colors from the spider plant with watercolors and then painted in five distinct blocks. I took a pic of it and will put it up. N taught me that I should consider going back over it and try to match the colors again, considering my perception of the colors will be different today then they were yesterday. It was a cool project. For those 2 people reading this - yes, that was a boring rendition of the project but just trust me on this one, it was cool.

Mother's day on Sunday - MMG made me feel bad that she didn't have mother's day cards in her hand on Sunday and I told her that I sent them on Sat, but I didn't. I didn't lie, I just thought I'd be able to get them off to her on Sat. Anyhow, she does that a lot - makes me feel bad, but she does it with this way that she's joking, but it does hurt sometimes. Whatever. I'm over it. I love her, that's all that matters. Right?

Now that I'm a full-fledged VA lawyer, I'm getting my own cases and even got a salary!! Woohoo! I thought I wouldn't be working the second temp job, but decided to take one more assignment in order for us to catch up on finances. Seriously, it was harder these past few months, getting Steve and having not worked while studying for the bar exam and such. I think if I take on one more assignment, I can get us caught up on bills and we'll be okay. Not gonna lie to you, I do take pride in the fact that we somehow went 2 weeks with only 11 dollars in the bank account. Can I get some props for that plz? Me and JC talk about how proud we are that we got by this past pay period with such little funds. Is that something to be proud of or what?

Dear Shenandoah Steve,

I would like to tell you a few things as our new life together begins, and because I LOVE lists, I will format this letter in such a fashion.

1) I love you. I really do. You brighten up my day by just being a part of our family. I love giving you belly rubs when you get all roley poley on the ground, I love giving you pets and snuggling with you while we relax at home. I love to take you on long walks and don't even mind when you sniff something every 30 seconds - literally, it's every 30 seconds - during our walks. I'm just ecstatic that I can give you a good home, with food and shelter and lots of love.

Even though I love you as much as I do, I have a few requests.

2) Barking in the middle of the night is not necessary when there isn't a masked murderer trying to break into our home. Seriously, barking for the sake of barking is just not required in order to be a part of our family. Like two nights ago, when we were trying to get some sleep at 2 in the morning, there really wasn't any need to be barking at the television, especially since it was turned off. And last night, after we had been sleeping for an hour, you don't need to bark in order to wake us up so you can check out the downstairs. I promise, it hasn't changed. It's the same as it was when you came upstairs. No one is waiting for you down there, the couch that you like to shed your entire coat on is still there. There aren't even any cars driving by that you can look at out the window downstairs. So sweetheart, no need to bark in the middle of the night.

3) You are quite a voluptuous doggie, and we are trying to make sure you get a good, healthy diet. This does not mean that you can jump up to the counter, pull down the treats your Dad just bought you and eat the entire bag of chicken strip treats. This is not so good for your girlish figure, and we want you to grow up to be a healthy pooch. Oh, and carrying the container of treats in your mouth upstairs to show us you like your treats is also not necessary. We know you like them. But still, you can't eat the entire bag or container.

Shenandoah Steve, that's it for now. Don't even forget we love you, but these are just a few things I thought you should know about.

Love,
Your mama

Meet the newest member of our family:

Right now, her name is Eve. This is the name she came with from the SPCA, but we're trying to find a more fitting name. This pic doesn't do her justice, but seriously dudes, she is the sweetest most cuddly dog in the world. She is part lab, part pyrenees, she LOVES belly rubs and snuggling in bed with us, and she has the sweetest disposition. And I know you can't tell from this pic but she's HUGE. She's over 100 pounds. There is no doubt that she loves people. I'm completely in love with her. I couldn't be happier!! I feel like we are the luckiest people in the world to have adopted her and give her a loving home. Don't worry, more pics are coming.

We're THIS much closer to getting a dog. And I've already scoped out the one I want. His name is Mac, and as of 2:30 this afternoon, he is still in need of a loving home. Seriously dudes, how cute is he!!! In order to get a dog, we need money - money for the pet deposit we need to give our landlord, money for the adoption fee at the Charlottesville Albemarle SPCA and then money for all the toys and food and treats and snuggly things we are going to spoil him with. In order to do this (and in spirit of spring cleaning), I am selling my clothes. Yup, come by and see me naked cause I'm selling all my clothes. Nah, just kidding, just the ones that don't fit anymore ever since I grew a big ass and also those that I still have from high school. No joke people, I still have clothes in my closet from high school. Not only can I barely fit one limb in the piece of clothing, but they look like they are from the mid 90s. I posted an ad on Craigslist and already have someone coming by to peek a look-see at them tonight. I even posted some pics on Flickr so no one wastes their time or mine. Granted, I could do this all at a yard sale (which I am still planning on holding sometime very soon), but maybe I can sell enough clothes for the adoption fee.

I'm still on track with my one project a night thing. It helps when I go to the gym in the morning cause then I have time at night to piddle around. I love to piddle around, let me tell you. Oooh, and tonight's Grey's Anatomy. Man oh man, am I going to get a lot done tonight. I wish I knew how to put up one of those thermometer thingys on my blog to track the money I raise to get the doggie. Wouldn't that be nerdy and fun?

So I followed through on my scheduled project last night and made these cute magnets for the fridge out of beer bottle caps and I also decorated some twigs from the backyard with some accessories from a holiday project I did a few years ago. At first I placed the twigs in the glass bottle downstairs on top of our entertainment furniture but it just didn't look right. Then we finally found the perfect place on our dresser in our bedroom. Very cute. I always forget about upstairs cause no one really sees it, and we aren't up there very much (just to sleep and shower - and maybe we do other things - I'll let your imagination take care of that one). But I should think more about our bedroom and making it cozy. I saw these cute embroidered napkins at Circa here in Cville and am now thinking they would be nice to put on the dresser, cause it's very bare and undecorated.

I also managed to clean out the guest room closet, where I hoard my keepsakes and memories from childhood. I go through these boxes every once in a while and always manage to purge them just a bit. I got rid of about three shoe boxes full of stuff. I learned a few things last night about myself - some of which I'm not too proud of.

1) I was quite a moody teenager. I kept letters from my best friend that she wrote me while in high school, and she was always apologizing. And let me tell you, she rarely did anything wrong. I was just a moody brat. Granted, I was experiencing teenage angst thinking that the world was ending, but still, who the hell did I think I was being all moody and bratty and taking out all my growing pains on my friends?

2) I kept a lot of stuff from my childhood, and I'm glad I did. Cause as I was going through all those cards and papers, it brought back memories that I was not ready to forget, and hopefully never will. Granted, I came across things that triggered some memories that I was more than ready to forget. It was like listening to a mix tape from when you were 14 and just hearing a certain song makes you feel weirdly uncomfortable.

3) Last night I read a lot of cards teachers in high school sent to me shortly after my father died, and they all had one point in common. My father's pride of me did not go unnoticed, and he made sure everyone knew it. Man, I think - no actually I know - I was and still am the luckiest person for having him as my father. He pushed me hard to succeed, but damn am I glad he did it. Cause I know I wouldn't be where I am today if he hadn't. The anniversary of his death is coming up - not something I dwell on but something that sneaks up on me and all the sudden I'm like shit - it feels like it was yesterday that he died but crazy cause it will be 8 years this Sunday. G-d I miss him.

Ever since my posting last Monday, I haven't been able to keep my eyes off the news. Seriously, I was getting a little worried about how much I needed my news fix, with all the media coverage about the Virginia Tech shooting floating around out there and then being shot into our head. There were moments, of course, where I wanted to shoot something into the head of the dumb ass newsperson asking a VT student how the mood on the campus was after the shootings. Dude, what the fuck do you think the mood was on the campus? In fact, I heard one newsperson ask a student who had been in a Norris Hall classroom when the shootings were occurring who managed to barricade the door - "How do you feel about being called a hero today?" followed by a painstaking 10 second lull in the dialogue as the student mustered the courage to respond to her idiotic question. Shut the F up. Anyhow, I was pretty useless last week at work, since every 5 minutes I needed my CNN intravenous shot.

Beans was taken from us by Mama and Papa B on Saturday. No joke, there was a tear or two. But I already have asked our landlord if we can have a dog, she gave us the okay (still need to put down a $500 deposit), and I already filled out an application to adopt a dog from the SPCA in Charlottesville. This is as good of a time as any to get one since N is almost finished with the semester so he will be more available to help with the dog. We got into a pretty slick routine while Beans was here, each of us taking on various duties in the taking-care-of-Beans-procedure. I'm totally ready. Seriously, dogs make a home that much more home-esque.

I painted our craft room this weekend a green color - called Wild Artichoke - or was it Wild Asparagus. Oh, can't remember. But I did it all by my lonesome - of course, not without some direction and guidance from N. You know, he did go to school where they teach you how to color inside the lines. But once I got started, I got into it. Granted, it was my first time ever painting so it's not perfect, and I learned what to do (and what not to do) next time. We are painting our bedroom next.

After the painting extravaganza, the wheels started turning and I became somewhat excited by the resolution of having one project a day that I complete (or work on) that makes our home pretty. Not just the daily laundry or dishes or vacuuming (though they need to be done ASAP or someone will get lost in the piles of dirty undies and billowing dust balls) but I'm talking about either painting a room or cleaning out a closet or organizing the kitchen or getting ready for our yard sale...you know that type of stuff. So, yesterday my project was planting a few baby spider plants in pots that were transplanted from a mama spider plant that I picked up from Freecycle. I hope they survive the move.

Hmm, what am I going to do today? Things on my list to do around the house: paint the bedroom (which I could start today by taping everything off), organize for our upcoming yard sale, clean out the kitchen shelves where we keep our food and spices, start on the knitted rug pattern, clean up the sticks in the yard...hmm, what to do. Of course, this plan will most likely go out the window as soon as I get another gig from the other job (the work-from-home-at-night-which-helps-pay-the-bills job). Anyhow, I got these cool old glass bottles off of Freecycle and was thinking of putting a bunch of twigs in them and attaching paper flowers. I saw the idea in a mag. We'll see. I can't believe I'm admitting this, but there is some inspiration over at Martha Stewart's site.

This weekend was full of nothing and goodness. Not much in the way of headline news occurred in our parts of town, but we did spend Friday night with new and good friends for some wine and dine (much more wine that dine). Then Saturday - gym, chopped off my hair, went to a few local thrift stores (I'll try to post some pics tonight), lounged around watching bad TV, did a few hours of work and finished off the night watching Volver. Good movie. Kept me entertained.

Yesterday was filled with hours of working on a project for which I thought the deadline was today, but was pleasantly surprised to learn I don't have to turn it in until tomorrow.

Oh g-d - word in. Check out CNN about shooting at Virginia Tech. At least 22 dead, 17 injured.

Hi Peeps. With AV gone for the next two days and JC out sick, I'm all here by my lonesome holding down the fort. My boss just got word that yet another attorney is leaving the firm. Not because he does't like it, but because of his wife's job. So, this really opens up a can of worms as to the future of the firm. Anyhow, that's all boring business stuff, so on to more cuteness.

I wanted to introduce you to the newest member of our Charlottesville family. Meet Beans:

Beans is N's dog from home and lives up in Reston, VA. However, VB and JB went across the pond to England to celebrate the marriage of VB's son T, so we get to love and pet and snuggle and walk and admire Beans for the next two weeks.

This picture is photographic evidence of Beans' nightly ritual of arranging her blankets right before she plops down to sleep for the night. What's even sillier is that she spends all this time arranging her blankets (yes, she needs two - so high maintenance) and then she usually manages to settle only one-third of her body on one of the blankets. Sometimes she even fluffs a pillow for herself. I truly deeply madly love having her with us. She makes our home feel so cozy. There's something to be said of the feeling you get when you walk through the door at the end of the day and someone's there waiting for you. Welcome to our home Beans!

Favorite Color Swap Pal 2

I want to give a shout out to Kerin, my favorite color swap pal, who sent me such wonderful presents. Here is some of the funky yarn she sent me, for which I plan on making a drop stitch scarf. I think it will block pretty nicely, and a drop stitch pattern just seems to be the perfect pattern for this yarn.Kerin also made this fantastic journal. I've already pounced on her for a tutorial, cause I'm all intimidated by the wood and screws and hand drawn designs. No tutorial to be had, but I feel lucky enough just being gifted with such a pretty thing. I haven't written anything in it, and am thinking I may put photos in it instead. Not sure yet...
To read more about Kerin, check her out here. This was a fun swap. Not only did I enjoy receiving such pretty things, but I also enjoyed the giving portion of the swap.

This past weekend with MMG was pleasant. Ran a few errands, relaxed A LOT, and spent some time helping MMG get stuff in order. She is quite a busy real estate agent, always running this way and that way showing houses, listing houses, running from houses, etc.

I've become quite a gym junkie lately. Even made JC sign up for the gym, even though it was like pulling teeth. She finally fell under my spell and now we have been going to the gym every day (except for days we are exploring other parts of the country - such as home or boyfriend's home). While the benefit of toning is something to be treasured, I am most interested in increasing my energy level. With two jobs, and all the other responsibilities I hold, I am completely drained at the end of the day and just want to the lie on the couch scratching my belly when I get home from work. So I'm hoping that going to the gym will give me the energy to do the other things I love to do - like work in my craft room making my cards, painting, knitting, working on the garden, cleaning up the house (which is a shit hole right now), painting the walls in the house and other things. Also, for the next few months, I will be going this way and that - Passover in Plainview, JV and NL's wedding, my cousin's wedding in Chi-town, etc. So it's uber important that I do stuff at night during the week, or I will become a crabby bitch, someone no one wants to encounter.

Yesterday, one of the associates in the firm was offered a position elsewhere, and will be leaving in a month. Supposedly this change will generate a ton of work for me and JC, but we haven't felt the brunt of it yet. I know that a lot of her cases will be passed along to one of the managing partners, for whom I work directly, which translates into more work for me. But, I'm ready for it, kinda excited to learn more and get more involved.
Boy do we look tired. Here is JC and I with our shawls cause it's a freakin' freezer in here. And sometimes we like to pretend we are nuns.

Switched up my routine today - went to the gym this morning and got ready for work there then headed to work. Completely different world so early in the morning. Granted, I'm probably gonna crash in a few but whatevs. Going to see MMG this weekend. It won't be a long trip but just a little drop in to say hello and help her get things together. This last round of chemo really wiped her out this past week.

Work has been absolutely ridiculous this week. First I got called out for being unprofessional and then I was called out for turning in a project late. The unprofessional escapade is hilarious. JC and I were running some documents over to another attorney's office while on our way to the courthouse. It was a gorgeous day and it was obviously showing in our behavior. Upon entering, JC handed the documents over to the receptionist, and I saw some mints in the waiting area. I took a mint, took one for JC and then left. JC must have giggled, or I giggled, or we both giggled. This 10 second interaction led to this attorney calling us unprofessional to one of the partners in the firm since I apparently grabbed a fistfull of mints, as well as sending an e-mail to another attorney in our firm, stating our behavior was immature and unprofessional. I mean seriously people, get a fucking life! I don't even think the bitchy attorney saw us in her office - maybe heard us or maybe her little tight assed receptionist said something. But whatever, that's a few strikes against me, but thank g-d the attorneys I work with agree that this woman needs to get her head out of her ass and go on some meds.

In order to vent our frustration, JC wrote a letter to this crappy lady:

Dear Devil Woman [insert real name],

My colleague and I have learned that you have made repeated complaints to two attorneys in our office regarding our "unprofessional" behavior. Apparently we were giggling and offering each other mints. We would like to apologize for our abhorrent behavior. How dare we enter your place of business with smiles on our faces? How dare we display signs that we were enjoying the beautiful day? It is an unspoken rule that when you enter a law firm, you must show no signs of happiness or of having a sense of humor. We have brazenly broken this rule. How dare we take a mint from the dish of mints on your entryway table? I mean, clearly those mints are not there for the purpose of eating. Clearly they are there as decoration only. From now on, we will think twice before we reach for a mint, and we will try to determine whether these mints are sincere or rather, decoy mints. These oversights will never happen again.

Sincerely,

JC - Impertinent Legal Assistant

Have a big deadline tomorrow and will most likely be up pretty late, but I wanted to jot down a few moments from the weekend. Met up with an old friend from the good ole days of youth group - completely unexpected and a superb surprise. Also spent some time with new friends that I am excitedly awaiting to see again at JV and NL's wedding. Had good times with the mother-in-law letting loose. Found a cute dress for the wedding - now I just have to find shoes and a cute shrug or shawl to go with it. MMG isn't in love with it but I am hoping she'll come around when I get the right accessories. Maybe I can dig up some pics from the weekend, but I'm afraid all of them are too incriminating for the innernets. Oh, I got my package from my Favorite Color Swap pal and I will be sure to post pics tomorrow. Just have to say that I LOVE LOVE LOVE my presents, especially the home-made journal.

This is now my life

You really have no idea how stupid criminal defendants are. Imagine the stupidest person you went to high school with. Now, imagine a person that your stupid high school buddy would consider stupid. That's your criminal defendant.

Seen over here.

Also, cause I'm such a dork, one of my new favorite places.

Stayed home today from work since I woke up this morning with the aches and pains. But Advil Fever and Flu or something along those lines helped a bit, so I've been doing some work from home today.

MMG had a mammogram and sonogram or ultrasound on her other breast today and it doesn't look like the little thing they were worried about is anything resembling cancer. Such a relief. Cause I know she can't go through chemo again (she's still feeling the effects from the treatment last week) and believe you me, I can't go through it again either. I'm not sure how often she will be getting mammograms now that her chemo treatment is over. Maybe every 3 months or 6 months. Whatever...it's such a relief to see the light at the end of this tunnel. Cancer sucks. Sucks even more when it's the one parent you have left.

JV's friend died yesterday. They took him off life support and I suppose he went soon after. We'll see him this weekend, and I hope he is doing okay. N has been talking to him this week. Not sure if he will go to Richmond for the funeral or any details about that. Someone so young. For nothing. My heart aches. We aren't invincible, only mortal. We can be gone from here in an instant. And there's nothing that you can do to change that. You can't take any moment you have for granted. Such a cliche.

I think about that phrase, shouldn't take any moment for granted and I think about my day today. I didn't do anything special, in fact I felt kinda crappy, being sick and all. And I worked, read a book, talked to MMG and N, wrote some e-mails. But I didn't do anything earth shattering, nothing to write home about. So did I do everything I can to not take this day for granted? No, but that's life, right? Every moment can't be the best moment ever cause then we wouldn't know a great moment if it bit us in the ass. And every moment can't be only what you want to do, cause then many people would be lazy, just sitting around or running around this town doing whatever the hell they wanted, wouldn't work, just play all the time. So that whole you shouldn't take any moment for granted, maybe that just really means take risks, don't bet on tomorrow, and make the big decisions count. But don't screw people over cause you are trying to not take today or even tomorrow for granted. Okay, I'm done this silly diatribe. I hate that cliche.

Feeling stuffy - left nostril is clogged. Something is going around. One of the attorneys here has walking pneumonia, not that it's contagious or anything, but it sounds serious nonetheless.

Last night I learned that a friend of JV's is being taken off life support today. I don't know facts but heard that there were drugs, not breathing, CPR, and such. You think you are immune but you aren't. My heart aches for him and his family. I know nothing about him, except what I've heard from others. You don't know what people are up to, what they are thinking. Maybe it was just another night with friends and something went terribly wrong, or bad drugs, bad timing, something else I can't imagine. Who knows. Crazy times. I think about people who do drugs recreationally or in fact are addicted, and just one more time, or just another night in a slew of nights that means nothing more, nothing less. And that one time is it. That's all you get. No more. It's scares the shit out of me. I will go on the record and say that I'm scared of drugs - most especially not being in control. Addiction runs in my family. But that's all I have to say about that now.

Have tons of work to do this week. For my second job, I have a Tuesday deadline, and have more work that I can shake a stick at. I'll get it done, I always somehow find a way. Even if it means soliciting help with the payment of sexual favors!

Foist

Word of the Day, compliments of Jackie, is Foist.

Rhymes with moist.

Definition: To force upon or impose fraudulently or unjustifiably

Used in context: I don't like how you foisted that responsibility of not talking onto me.

Right before I left Columbia, I met up with Gucci. I wasn't expecting the opportunity to see her cause I thought little Mason would be trying to come out. But Mason wasn't ready to come out so I got to spend some quality time with Gucci before one became two.

Gucci's beautiful belly.

Then I headed back to Charlottesville. Down Route 29, I saw this:

All of the cabs that I've seen in Charlottesville have such funny silly slogans on them. And here I am, eager to get home.

My eyes are burning from staring at the comp for so many hours today. Having to work two fucking jobs - not so fun, but as I've said before, and I'll chicken out on later cause I'm a sucker and just go along with it all cause I don't want to be told no but will talk endlessly about how unhappy I am and then finally grow a backbone and drive myself bonkers (I just love that word) and then finally ask - I am demanding a salary once I get admitted in VA. And a salary I can live with - not 2 cents an hour, and then run with my tail between my legs to work from home job where they actually pay me a decent salary but it has little, if anything, to do with the law. I've been going to court and jail more this week - haa, I've been going to jail. Definitely learning more about what it means to practice law then when I just sat in front of the computer and interacted with only my little mouse all day (and of course the firm go-ers).

Been diligent about clearing out the clutter in the house. Sold some books to a used book store we love on the downtown mall. I have my eye on this 30 year old teach yourself how to draw figures book. Also, sold some beads and jewels I had from when I was 10 on Craigslist. All for my secret fund that I can't anybody about yet, except MMG. Hope to start on some of the clothes that I have piled up in the basement, and soon we can plan a date for the yard sale.

Thinking about heading to Staunton this weekend for a little day trip, if work allows. I have been there twice for an interview and wanted to explore it more. Looks like a cute little town, maybe out of Pleasantville, but hoping to find some hidden treasure.

Some Advice From Your Public Defender

Check this out. All I have to say is: You have the right to remain silent, so SHUT THE FUCK UP!

N got back from Barcelona last night. It was so nice to have him back in the States, even though I still haven't seen him yet. He got a head cold while he was over there but it doesn't sound like he allowed it to interfere with his trip. I can't wait to see the pictures he took of the city.

Today I went up to Bel Air to visit with Prote and BH. Prote is my alter-ego and one of my most dearest friends. BH is a former co-worker. We went to my favorite restaurant in town, Carried Away Gourmet. The Bel Air Four Seasons salad is the best salad on their menu! Absolutely in love with it. I would eat it everyday if I could, and I almost did when I was working up there. It was great to catch up with Sam and Bren.

Also tried to drop some schtuff off at the consignment shop up there, but most of it was winter clothing and they were just accepting spring clothing. Also, the spring clothing I did have was too wrinkled. I will just try again when I get back down to Cville. I'm thinking of trying to save the money I make from the consignment shop for something in particular, but I don't want to reveal what that particular thing is yet until it's official. This thing that I want to save for.

Also, I went shopping here for my Favorite Color Swap partner. I hope she likes what I got her. It was supposed to be sent out today, but because of the bar exam, I told her I was going to be a few days late. Thank goodness she's so understanding. When I told N about the swap, he didn't really understand why someone would sign up for such a thing when you could just buy what you wanted for yourself. Why have someone else buy it for you? He just doesn't get the thrill of shopping for someone else, hoping to make someone smile because of the thought you put into a present. But, you know, if there was some sort of Subaru Forester or Subaru WRX swap, he'd be all about it.

Natasha's Socks

Here they are - the never ending sock project. I've been working on these socks for almost 9 months, and not because they were difficult. And to think of it, I'm not sure why they took so long. I started working on them with no particular recipient in mind, but when Natasha saw them, she claimed 'em.

I love the way they turned out. I have no problems with them at all - no complaints. Just some good ole fashioned knit socks. I think she'll like them. I mean, there's no reason she wouldn't.

Budget Crisis

Hate looking at the bank statement. Definitely glad I'm making a run to the consignment shop on Tuesday to drop off some clothes. It's a great way to make a little money and also to clear out the clutter, cause we sure have a lot of it.

Almost done with the socks. Pics coming soon.

Didn't make it

MMG and I didn't make it to NYC today. We had the best of intentions but we must have underestimated how exhausted we were - she being tired from the chemo and me more likely to not be too eager to wake up at 6 am. Anyhow, we'll try to go soon, I'm sure.

Went to PF Chang's last night for dinner. I love the food there. I know it's a chain and all, but it's a pretty damn good chain. I love their salt and pepper calamari. Also saw Zodiac last night. I liked the story - true story of the Zodiac killer from the late 60s through the 70s. But it was too long. Almost 3 hours too long.

Gonna try to finish Natasha's socks today. I've been working on these socks for longer than I care to admit. I just want to pass them on and get started on another project. They are almost complete - I've been knitting both socks at the same time in order to avoid the one sock syndrome.

We might go and see a condo today for MMG to move into.

Looking forward to going back to Cville. I've been thinking more and more about my employment situation and am thinking of requesting health insurance and a bit of a raise. I don't want to work two jobs anymore - I don't think I should have to at this point in my life. Isn't that one of the perks of going to law school? To not have to work two jobs? We'll see if I have the balls to ask for health benefits and a raise. In my mind it seems like the most reasonable request but then I start making excuses about why I don't deserve these things. We'll see...

Blanket for MMG

When I found out that MMG had to undergo four cycles of chemo, I wanted to make something for her that would remind her of the many people who love her and are thinking about her, despite how alone she may feel during the process. So many wonderful people in my life knit a 10 x 10 inch square to be assembled into a blanket for mom. Here it is!

Last night, MMG and I were watching some Law and Order and I wanted to work on crocheting the squares together, but in order to do that, I had to reveal the surprise. She absolutely loved it!! As you can see, there's one square missing in the middle, but I have that one on needles right now, almost complete. That's the square that N worked on. He's a good knitter. Hopefully, I will finish crocheting the squares together before I go back to Cville.

MMG came into my room this morning and asked me how spontaneous I was willing to be this weekend. I knew exactly what she wanted to do. She wants to go to Canal Street in NYC tomorrow, just for the day, and buy some purses! So, we vacuumed out the car this morning and are planning on driving to NYC for the day. I know it will make her so happy - and like I've never denied, I love to make her happy. I'll hopefully have a cute purse to show off tomorrow!

Yesterday, I went to drop off some dry cleaning for MMG. I never give up an opportunity to drop off her dry cleaning, because I then go to one of my favorite thrift stores, the Laurel Thrift Center. It's freakin huge! I found two new dish clothes, some fabric to start my collection and a pillow case. Oh, and I found the cutest owl figurine made of sea shells. Kinda cheesy but I've never been one to deny the cheese.

Bleh bleh ugch!

That's how I feel right now. I am splashing around right now, not sure what to do. I've just finished this huge enormous monstrosity of an undertaking and now I am hanging in limbo - what do I do with myself? I feel such a huge let down cause I don't know where to pick up. I'm here with MMG and helping her get her life in order. Running errands, picking up around the house. Tomorrow we are going to see a condo that she may rent. Looks like her landlord is getting ready to sell this place and it's just too big for one woman. And moving to a condo means getting rid of all this stuff that she's been lugging around with her. Of course, it's hard to get rid of because it's a piece, a huge piece, of her life with my father. And having it around her, I think, makes her feel close to him, like she hasn't forgotten him. She did say to me she's ready to get of it. And I may have put the words in her mouth "lifting a huge weight" off of her. She's been needing to get rid of it for a while (granted, he died almost 8 years ago). But in her own time she will do it.

In other exciting news, I've been having some troubles with my camera and loading pics. I tried to load some pics from my camera earlier in the week but I think they are too big. So, I fooled around in the settings, trying to make the pics smaller and ended up erasing what was on my camera. Oh well - I'm thinking those pics weren't that important. I did take a few of these flowers I picked out at the market. Granted, they aren't taken with the fancy shmancy camera but I tried to capture how vibrant and smiley they are.

MMG and I are going to a movie tonight. I really wanted to see The Pursuit of Happyness but it's already out of the theatres. I know, cheesy movie, but that's how I roll.

It's over!

Thank the freakin Lord it's over. I have no idea whether I passed or not, but at least it's over. I have a feeling I may have failed, but that's because I don't feel as confident as I did after the Maryland Bar Exam. I felt better about the second day - the day where I sat for 6 hours answering 200 multiple choice questions. Thrilling, I know. Whatever - it's done, and now I just have to take this other test in a week from Saturday to ensure that I will be an ethical attorney. Are there any out there?

As for the YouTube video in my last post - it was all a big lie. It was totally fake. I read some article that the guy just wanted to see how powerful the internet was. And he needed to make such a spectacle to do that? Seriously people.

Small Penis

Up, Up and Away

N is on his way to Barcelona. We woke up early this morning to send him off. It's strange not seeing him for almost 2 weeks. I know, I know...sound like such a baby. But we haven't been apart from one another for more than one or two nights since I moved here to Cville. Good to be on my own, show myself that I can do it myself, cause he does spoil me like crazy. Leaving tomorrow to take the bar exam. Can't wait to head home. I'm going to cram more info my smushy brain.

Four Tet

Get Remix. It's good. Love it or else.

Chemo Brain

MMG calls up crying - I'm going to attribute it to chemo brain. That what she has heard it called - the irrational mood swings, the crying for no reason, the ups and downs several all in one day. She's never been a good sick person but it's draining - there's no one else she wants to call or lean on. This is what happens when you are the only child of a widow. And there's nothing I can do. There were so many nights where I couldn't sleep, just praying for her approval of my move here, and start over. When we learned of the cancer, I thought I was going to have to move home, but N convinced me not to, unless it was absolutely necessary. He knows what would happen if I went back home. I finally stopped making myself stress to the point of being worried sick about her when I moved here, and it would start all over again. I'd end up back lying on some poor man's couch forcing myself to talk to some stranger who convinces me he knows what I'm feeling when I don't even know. I think I'm looking more forward to the treatments being over than she is. My happiness cannot depend on whether she is happy. I know she can't wait for me to come home. And I can't wait to see her happy.

Keller

Williams - new CD coming home today. Need something to drown out the legalese in my head.

Puffy Eyes

Woke up puffy today, cried a lot last night. I have been so stressed out becuase of this stupid exam. It wasn't like this last time - last time I had people around me going through the stress with me. Other people's stress shouldn't make me feel better, but I didn't feel so alone. N and I got into a fight last night - we've been quibbling more lately because of all the stress that I am under. This is so much harder than last time, and I finally boiled over because of it. Even missed the last 15 minutes of Grey's Anatomy because I was such a mess. Ugh, I see the light but it's not bright enough.

Stayed home today - didn't feel like facing the library again. Probably going to be the last time I go to the library in a while. 3 more days of studying, then I drive to Norfolk. Please G-d, I hope I don't have to do this again. Hopefully this will be the last time.

Last night I had a dream that N was going to propose with a ring. He was wearing the ring around his neck on a necklace- like Carrie in Sex and the City after Aiden proposes. And I saw the ring around his neck but was mad at myself cause I wanted it to be a surprise. And we were running errands while he was wearing this ring around his neck. In fact this really did happen - when N gave me the hamsa that I wear around my neck. He wore it first so it would be like he was giving me something of his. I remember seeing it when we were kissing.

Okay, gotta pull through this. I can't wait to do the things I love when this is over. I want to explore more with my sewing machine, set up the office with all my crafts, make my cards, paint, knit, work on our garden. We've both been in such yucky moods. And I can't keep saying, I'll start my like after I finish X, Y and Z. This is my life dangit! I'm gonna take a bunch of stuff to play with when I go back to mom's house. Definitely some knitting and maybe some sewing stuff. Mom used to sew so much when she was younger. hasn't touched a sewing machine since I've been around, but I bet she will love to play with it.

Oh, and gotta finish shopping for my Secret Swap Pal. Can't wait to hit some of the thrift stores up in Maryland. Also maybe stop by Old Ellicott City - their is so much shopping to do there. I promise, the rantings and ramblings will stop soon.

Less Than a Week

Until I take the bar exam. I just can't wait for this to be over...not really so that I am one step closer to getting a better job that not only pays more, but maybe so I can do what I've been studying for the past 3 years to do, but more because I am exhausted. Hours and hours spent studying in a library where I know no one. Not a single soul. But I people watch, maybe I'll spot someone studying for the same exam. I talk to Michelle about 5 times a day. She's my other half through this. She's going through the same exact thing, just for a different state. We try to study together, like we did for the Maryland exam, but as hard as we try to make it the same, we just can't.

Noey leaves for Barcelona on Sunday - 5 am bright and early at the school to board the bus taking him to Richmond. I am so jealous of him and the trip he is taking, but also looking forward to spending time at home with mom, as she prepares for her last chemo treatment. I'm a little scared to see her without hair, but we'll make jokes, I'm sure. I know she's tired, and she needs help to do the simple tasks of cleaning, grocery shopping, keeping life in order.

Off to study more.

I came across another blog of someone who I admire, and now I have the confidence to speak openly here. Not sure if that's healthy, to base my confidence on another's courage, but what the hell.

Favorite Color Swap 2

I am participating in the Favorite Color Swap 2 and here are the questions and answers that will help shed some light to my swap partner about me!

What are your top three favorite colors? Blue, Green, Yellow

What crafts do you really enjoy? I am addicted to knitting (as many knitters are). I also dabble a little in painting cards and paper crafts.

What products do you really covet? Yarn, journals, funky art

What other activities do you enjoy besides your favorite crafty things? I love reading books, especially new fiction (hate going into Barnes and Noble b/c it's rare that I leave empty-handed), I like to hike and garden.

Is there anything you collect? Nope, i don't have a collection of anything (unless yarn counts)

What is your zodiac sign and/or Chinese zodiac symbol? Aquarius

What are your favorite……
...scents/smells? - I love candles that smell not too fruity but that make a room smell comfortable and cozy (not a great description - sorry)

…types of music and/or bands? I love New Orleans funk music (Cowboy Mouth, Galactic, Rebirth Brass Band). I used to live in New Orleans (I went to Tulane University for my undergraduate degree); I also love women's folk music (Grace Potter and the Nocturnals, Sim Redmond Band, Indigo Girls, Ani Difranco)

…authors? I can't narrow it down to a specific author - but I love fiction books - newly released fiction - they usually tend to be bestsellers

…animals? Puppies, puppies, puppies! I sound like such a yuppie.

…places to shop? Anthropologie, yard sales/thrift stores, anything vintage

…season? spring…yarn/fabric/paper/other craft supplies? Definitely don't have a favorite yarn but I do love soft yarn that is multi-colored to make scarves, and other accessories, like a cushion cover, etc. As for paper products and other craft supplies, I just got a sewing machine so I am hoping to learn (of course, after the bar exam) and I love making cards for people, either painting them, making limoleum prints, rubber stamping, those kinds of craft materials.

…candies or goodies? hmmm...I'm not much of a candy person.

Do you have any wish lists? Yes, I have a wish list on Amazon.com of knitting books.

Are you allergic to anything? Nope.

Do you have any pets? What are they? I don't have any pets, but I am in the process of convincing my boyfriend to get a puppy (see above). I think we will definitely have one by the summer.

Please include anything else you would like your secret pal to know about you- anything that would be helpful in finding you little gifts that you will really enjoy. I am pretty easy to please - i love books, journals (i love having them around to write down notes and ideas), funky magnets for the fridge, anything to decorate walls - cool photos, and of course, yarn.

I hope this helps. It's hard to sum up what you like - I like a lot of things:)